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Ways to Stay Healthier and Happier for Longer

Ways to Stay Healthier and Happier for Longer

By Chris Lee

Back in June 2016 I gave a TEDx Talk – ‘Male, Stale and in a Shed’. I experienced mixed success.

Following that scary but exciting experience, I resolved to write a series of blog posts under a ‘No Man’s Land’ umbrella. My blog posts were my attempt to explore the issues in my short talk and, in particular, to try to identify the roots of my mental ill-health over the past two decades.

So one year ago I published the first of my ‘No Man’s Land’ blog posts and, although I only intended it should be a year-long series, the posts continue.

I am finding the more personal they get, the harder they are to write.

One thing that writing and reflection has done is to help me identify what I think has worked for me in keeping at bay for the past two years what Churchill famously described as his ‘black dog’.

Here are the three main ingredients in my recipe for staying healthier and happier for longer, the first is connecting…

Connecting With People

I used to say with like-minded people, but some of my most interesting recent encounters have been with people with whom I disagree but who are prepared to debate in a grown-up and respectful way. It can be scary but exciting to have your views challenged!

Connecting With Places

I believe the need to belong is powerful for many people.

It’s one I associate with places as well as people and it can be something as simple as going into town knowing I’ll probably meet someone I know. But it still took me around five years after moving from London to a market town of 17,000 to get that level of connection.

Connecting With Our Feelings

Perhaps this is the most difficult for many older men.

I try hard to fight an inbred tendency to supress emotions, particularly negative ones, and I avoid talking about my innermost concerns.

I haven’t yet cracked it and I know I’m not alone. I organise school reunions and it was only six months ago that a friend from school days admitted to me something he’d told only his wife until then – that he’d been sexually assaulted when he was nine years old.

Then There is Creating

I most enjoy being in a Men’s Shed, or any shed for that matter. When problem-solving and being creative is involved it’s the closest I have come to experiencing what they call ‘flow’.

But that’s not what I’m talking about here.

I mean creating stuff: making things; writing – stories, poetry; or cooking – creating a special meal, preferably to eat with others.

It could be gardening – growing plants of even creating natural colour in a garden, or maybe it’s artwork – painting or photography. It doesn’t have to be brilliant, but I think it’s important that it’s something that pleases the creator; something that matters to them. And if it pleases others, so much the better.

Forty years ago I still remember making a wooden case for carrying and displaying books for my mum. I still recall her  looking at it in wonder and saying to me and others present ‘He made this! He took pieces of wood and he made this!’ She was so proud and, looking back, so was I.

The last ingredient for staying healthier and happier for longer is this.

Carrying On

When older people say ‘I want to die’ I don’t believe them. I think when older people really want to die they simply stop carrying on – and do so. Until then there’s something – anger, curiosity, love or something else – keeping them alive.

Carry on learning.

There’s a famous Gandhi quote…

‘Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.’

I love it for urging us to never stop learning new things – facts, skills, whatever. We know that learning keeps our brains ticking over and wards off deterioration. I’m learning to hula hoop – there’s no time to explain why I took it up and my longer term plans if I succeed. Suffice it to say I’m still learning!

Some years ago I read a book called ‘How to Age’ by Anne Karpf. I was struck by her observation that we talk about ‘growing’ old but ageing is usually seen in negative terms – a winding down rather than a process of growth and development. The University of the Third Age is the fastest growing community organisation in my home town and that delights me (I’m hoping a new Men’s Shed will come a close second) as they share that thirst for learning in later life.

Carry on moving.

For me that means running and walking, for others it may be swimming, cycling, even dancing. It doesn’t have to be long, hard or fast – just regular and enjoyable (which raises the brain’s serotonin and lowers cortisol; good for managing stress)

My wife works in healthcare and knows first hand the stresses and strains that afflict the service. After personally being a consumer of a full range of medications over the past 20 years – from Prozac for depression to Alendronic Acid for osteoporosis – I consider it my duty to try to stay clear of the health service for as long as possible through self-medication with connecting, creating, and carrying on.

Here’s my TED Talk entitled Male, Stale and In A Shed;

Chris Lee has been in the marketing industry for over 35 years – the first 15 in books, the past 18 in social enterprise and business support. He is passionate about Men’s Sheds, active ageing, singing in a choir, and off-road running.

This post was originally published on Enterprise Essentials and was adapted and reprinted with permission.

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