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Resentment Hurts You More Than Them

Resentment Hurts You More Than Them

I imagine that it’s pretty unlikely that we have hit the age we are now without having been hurt at some point by someone in our lives.

Whether it was a family member, friend or colleague – it really doesn’t matter who it was or actually even what they did. The fact is that they hurt us and the pain that we felt is probably what we remember most.

But what we actually do with the hurt we feel is really important.

According to an article titled Living With Resentment Is Like Taking Poison and Hoping the Other Guy Will Get Sick published in Psychology Today, holding onto resentment can be extremely harmful to both our personal health and wellbeing.

In the article, they pointed out that often we carry resentment because we are looking for justice. In some strange way we think that if we keep thrashing over and over all the “wrong” that was done to us and the pain that we felt and that by holding onto all this hurt and rejection, we will somehow be given the justice that we believe is due and we will be “right”.

The problem with this thinking is that is doesn’t work.

The resentment that we hold onto actually can do more damage to us and our own ability to move forward to create loving, caring and trusting relationships than it does to the person that we actually can’t forgive.

I love this one particular line from the article;

 “Letting go of a resentment is not a gift to the person you resent. It is, rather, a gift to yourself.”

So maybe at this point in our lives if we are holding onto any resentments we should stop and think about it.

Maybe by forgiving, letting go and moving forward, we can remind ourselves that we are not doing this so much for the people that hurt us, but in actual fact are doing it for ourselves.

What do you think?

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Susan Williams is the Founder of Booming Encore. Being a Boomer herself, Susan loves to discover and share ways to live life to the fullest. She shares her experiences, observations and opinions on living life after 50 and tries to embrace Booming Encore's philosophy of making sure every day matters.
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